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Confidence, Dating, Mojo

How Likely Are You To Date Out Of Your League?

And now for something completely different – yet totally related at the same time! I called this site Mojo Multiplier because, a) I’m a massive fan of Austin Powers and, b) because it sets out to achieve exactly what we want from physical fitness and vitality; the English Oxford dictionary’s definition of mojo is “a magic charm, talisman, or spell”. Thanks largely to Austin Powers, many people are aware of the term mojo. It’s often regarded as the ability to attract the opposite sex – through a combination of looks, physical fitness, and psychology – namely confidence.

There’s more to it though – it’s about having that physical and mental vibrancy; that energy, vitality and general positive outlook on life that people are attracted to – and not just the opposite sex. There is a direct correlation between physiology (how we move our bodies) and psychology (our state). Studies have shown that people are more likely be successful in landing a job if they’re in physically good shape.  You’re more likely to attract investment as an entrepreneur if you’re in good shape. You’re more likely to have better relationships if you’re in physically good shape. You’re more likely to attract friends who are physically active and sporty if you are too. And of course, you’re more likely to attract a great looking girl (or guy if you’re that way inclined) if you’re in great physical shape yourself.  Part of the reason for this is a subliminal message that we send out to the world with our physical appearance. Ultimately women want to be with a guy who has top father potential. If he’s in great shape, that means he values looking after himself and his health, he’ll be around for a long time, he’ll be active with his kids, have more energy, be proactive, love doing new things, won’t let himself go etc. Conversely, the opposite of that message will be subliminally conveyed when he’s out of shape.

Fitter people have more energy and vitality, naturally. We can’t be the best version of ourselves if we’re out of shape.  When we’re physically active and fit, and take time out daily to make ourselves stronger, we have more energy, we’re more creative, have a more positive outlook on life, we’re more willing to take risks, try new things, see the upside rather than the downside in potential career moves, worry less, stress less, get ill less (did you know the lymphatic system, part of our immune system responsible for removing dead cells only works when we move our bodies?), we can think more clearly and are more motivated. I really believe that to have maximum mojo (in every aspect of life), it starts with physical fitness.

I found this article called “How Likely Are You To Date Out Of Your League” an interesting and controversial read and triggered these thoughts above. A lot of it, I believe, comes down to confidence, no matter what you look like. However, ultimately, we have more confidence when we’re physically active as the right chemicals are circulating around our brains and body. I’ve had many a conversation with women about dating guys who aren’t in the same “league” as them (as in, the guys appear to be in a lower league).  Women as it happens, are more turned on by a man’s confidence, his charisma, humour, how well they carry themselves and ultimately how close they are to living their purpose and how passionate they are in life. I’d therefore argue we can easily date women out of our league when we’re full of energy, living our purpose, demonstrate confidence and have that “Je ne sais quoi” to attract them. (Or you can go to Russia where most men are horrifically out of shape yet dating insanely hot women. They make us look good!)

What do you think? I’d love your feedback.

Check out this article from BodyRock:

If you’ve ever looked at a couple and thought one was far better looking than the other, you’ve probably wondered how they even managed to get together to begin with.

There is a generally accepted theory that people of similar attractiveness will end up together. This means, on the 10 point scale of attractiveness, if you are an 8, you will date someone who is also around an 8. If you’re a 5, your partner will be in that neighbourhood. Does this mean a 2 can never aspire to date a 10?

A 2011 study attempted to get to the bottom of this dating riddle. They examined the theory while also attempting to discover how likely we are to date someone out of our league.

First, they tested for dating preference.

200 participants filled out a questionnaire to asses their own mate value/self worth, their perception of their own levels of physical attractiveness as well as trustworthiness, likability, warmth and kindness suggesting that perhaps the study was intended to go a little deeper than surface looks.

Using these assessments, participants filled out a dating profile like one they might use on an online site. Based on their appearance and their self assessments, researchers judged them to have high, medium or low levels of attractiveness. Finally, participants rated each profile to determine whether or not they would be interested in contacting the person.

The participants that had a high self worth were more likely to contact people who were judged attractive by the researchers.

Those with low self worth were just as interested in the attractive people but because of their feelings about themselves, they were more likely to actually contact someone who was judged to be less attractive.

The study suggests:

“One reason higher-self-worth individuals might be more likely than lower-self-worth individuals to pursue highly desirable partners is because they are more optimistic about a successful outcome.

Lower-self-worth participants were not especially optimistic about their chances of success with the low-desirability targets (perhaps they felt apathetic about being successful), but their greater willingness to contact them might reflect the fact that they recognize, somewhat begrudgingly, that low-desirability targets are closer to being ‘in their league.’”

The second part of the study tested patterns in actual dating behaviour.

Researchers went to an online dating site and selected photos from 60 random males and 60 random females who they called ‘initiators’ and they had a look at the photos of the people to whom these initiators had reached out — called ‘targets.’

The researchers found that initiators tended to contact targets who were more attractive. This is a little counter to the first part of the study but these attempts didn’t necessarily result in a response from the target.

It was found that responses were more likely when a less attractive initiator went after a less attractive target and a more attractive initiator went after an equally attractive target.

If you play within the confines of your league, you’re more likely to get a response.

So, it appears the study has found what many of us already know to be true: stay in your league to find love.

But I say break the rules a little. Aim higher. Worst case scenario, you get rejected. I like the results of the first part of the study about self worth. If you believe you’re attractive and of value, you are automatically more interesting to a potential mate. Confidence is a beautiful thing. Try that on first, then swing for the fences. What’s the worst that can happen? Besides, ‘attractiveness’ is more or less arbitrary anyway…

What do you think? Are you likely to date out of your league? Is it actually possible?

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  • Confidence Dating Mojo

    How Likely Are You To Date Out Of Your League?

    And now for something completely different – yet totally related at the same time! I called this site Mojo Multiplier because, a) ...
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