The Mask You Live In – Documentary Screening

In the words of Monty Python: And now for something completely different. Very relevant though!

A few days ago I watched the screening of a brand new documentary called The Mask You Live In, and it has really made me really think twice about how I go about the marketing and promotion of my business and the words I use. This documentary digs deep into how boys growing up are often subjected to so much pressure to ‘be a man’, that they suppress their real emotions and grow up someone they’re not. Boys and young men often join gangs and commit crime, sometimes the most severe of crimes. The words “be a man” can be some of the most harmful words a boy can hear growing up. They develop a facade – a mask – and are fearful of how they show up among their piers / friends / family. They’re afraid to cry. They’re afraid to express emotion and do not talk about how they feel. They’re often encouraged by their fathers to fight, to solve arguments with violence, to be strong, to play manly sports. Girls’ and boys’ toys are categorised and designed completely differently to firmly depict the different between being a boy and girl.

These days, most boys (and girls) are subjected to some of the most horrific video games money can buy. I didn’t realise until I watched this documentary just how graphic they are. They’re so realistic. As a player, you can shoot someone’s head off and see blood pouring out of it. I’m so grateful I never got into video games when I was growing up – I was encouraged by my parents to be active, play musical instruments, and do sports but these days, most teenagers spend hours every day playing video games which have been proven to seriously negatively impact their psychology. Gun crime in the US has spiralled out of control. We hear about mass murders and school shootings regularly. This should never happen. You can buy a gun in Walmart!!! I meant, what the f**k?!! I was cruising down the aisles only a few weeks ago when shopping for camping gear and came across an entire aisle of guns and air rifles. Has this country gone completely crazy?

Through cultural conditioning and by their fathers, boys can succumb to so much pressure that it distorts who they are as human beings. 1 in 4 boys are subjected to bullying going through school. Most boys turn to alcohol by the time they’re 14. Many have smoked and continue to smoke marijuana from very early teenage years to ‘fit in’ – and escape reality. Our brains have not fully developed until we’re 25 – imagine the effects this has. It really got me to reflect on my own childhood and the transition I went through to go from a mixed primary school (aged 4-11) to a single sex secondary school (11-18). I found the first 1-2 years really challenging – I didn’t feel I fitted in at with my larger than life bouffant hair (oh how I miss that hair). I had lots of fights, and was bullied to a certain degree in the first few years. I started smoking when I was 14 to fit in – it made me cool. I was instantly respected. We’d gather behind the bike sheds and outside the school gates and smoke cigarettes. I started drinking with my friends from around the age of 14 if I remember correctly. Most of this was in secrecy from my parents. (Not any more?!) I started to work out at a young age too so I could defend myself in fights which I had up until the age of 17. I was hospitalised when I was 17 when a fellow school boy struck the back of my head with an iron bar when I stepped in to protect a friend who was being attacked. And I went to a decent school!

At the end of this screening, there was a feedback discussion. I don’t think it was an accident that I was there. Can you imagine the reaction I received when I explained what I was doing for a living? I applauded the film, explained the emotional impact it had on me, and then mentioned what my book and online program was about; “I help men be more manly – on a physiological level”.  A discussion ensued and a number of people approached me afterwards – in a good way!

As you probably know, the focus of my book and program is to help men increase testosterone with nutrition and fitness. Testosterone is key in supporting us to build muscle and burn fat, have more energy, improve motivation and mental clarity, reduce fatigue and increase libido. It’s the hormone that makes us manly – and this is where I need to be really careful!

I’ve often talked about the “feminisation of men” due to the female hormone, oestrogen, which is in our environment and is causing all sorts of problems with men.  It’s the cause of why testosterone levels have dropped by 22% in 2 decades, why sperm counts have as much as halved in half a century and why man boom operations is now the top 4th cosmetic surgery carried out on men in the US. This is really happening. Men are being feminised – physiologically. Oestrogen is a fat storing hormone and there is an abundance of toxic matter in our food supply.

I want to make it clear, that I’m focusing on health, not on psychology. I stand behind everything I teach and coach people on – it’s about being in optimum shape – peak physical shape, so you can be the best version of you. We need testosterone for all reasons mentioned above. Women do like manly men – and a number of women mentioned this during after the screening. There’s nothing wrong with being manly. I do think we need to be mindful that we can be manly men and be gentlemen too. We can be alpha males and sensitive. We can be strong, yet gentle. There is no need for any kind of violence, ever. It’s great to lift weights, workout and look good  and be healthy by clean eating and being mindful about what we’re consuming each and every day. If you follow the conventional way of living, unfortunately the majority of what we find on our supermarket, particularly in the US, is harmful.

Back to the documentary. I’d highly recommend a viewing. It’s a real eye opener. Here’s the trailer: