Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others. They face their fears head-on and tend to be risk takers. They know that no matter what obstacles come their way, they have the ability to get past them. Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light even when things aren’t going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

Wouldn’t it be amazing to have this kind of self-confidence, every day of the week? Guess what? You can.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” –Barrie Davenport

It comes down to one simple question: If you don’t believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?

Try some of the tips listed below. Don’t just read them and put them on the back burner. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today. You might have to fake it at first and merely appear to be self-confident, but eventually you will begin to feel the foundation of self-confidence grow within you. With some time and practice (this is not an overnight phenomenon), you too can be a self-confident person, both inside and out, whom others admire and say “Yes!” to.

1. Stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity

This is the time to really evaluate your inner circle, including friends and family. This is a tough one, but it’s time to seriously consider getting away from those individuals who put you down and shred your confidence. Even a temporary break from Debbie Downer can make a huge difference and help you make strides toward more self-confidence.

Be positive, even if you’re not feeling it quite yet. Put some positive enthusiasm into your interactions with others and hit the ground running, excited to begin your next project. Stop focusing on the problems in your life and instead begin to focus on solutions and making positive changes.

Read full article on Inc.com

Interestingly the last part is about gratitude – but he doesn’t call it that. He calls it if your great list. Making a list of everything you’re grateful for. Try it, I’ve been doing it on and off for a a year or so now and it’s pretty powerful.

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I’m more of a ‘towards’ person myself, meaning I like working towards the pleasure of achieving something than an ‘away’ person, as someone who is motivated by the need to avoid pain. If you can figure this out, you’ll save yourself lots of time and energy with everything you do, not just fitness.

More people are motivated by the need to avoid paid as it’s built in within us – it’s our survival mechanism, our survival brain designed to keep us safe, and therefore keep us in our comfort zone. A lot of people will struggle to commit to a fitness program because of their need to avoid pain – perceived pain of the process or taking action/continuing to take action as it’s not comfortable, rather than the pleasure they’ll experience on achieving their outcome. I say perceived, as if you attach pain to exercise (for example), when you actually take action on the exercise, you’ll realise it’s not painful at all. You’ll feel awesome from it and you’ll never regret doing it. You’ll only regret not doing it!

Let’s take food temptation as another example and pain and pleasure. Initially we get pleasure from eating whatever it is we love to eat, say chocolate. It’s pleasurable. The pain comes fairly quickly afterwards though as we pile on the pounds super fast. Here’s when instant gratification (PLEASURE) vs longterm PAIN plays a major role. We live in an age of instant gratification.  We want everything to happen right now, or yesterday. We live in overwhelm which we perceive as stress and it’s very easy to resort to instant gratification to alleviate said overwhelm. The price we pay though is longterm pain – fat gain leading to illnesses & disease.

I’d like to invite you to think about Instant (pleasurable) gratification vs longterm pain. You may feel that initial high during the pleasurable experience but for how long is that sustained? Plus, it’s addictive. You want more, almost immediately. Sugar is like a drug, it’s like cocaine. Only more people die from sugar overload than they do cocaine per capita.

So….how to get around that? Can you do something else to separate yourself from your current overwhelm or desire for that temptation? Can you step outside and breathe? Do a guided meditation for 5 minutes? Can you take into work with you some raw vegetables like broccoli / carrots / peppers sliced and dip them into humous (organic of course)? That would be focusing on longterm pleasure – and you may just enjoy the snack too. You won’t experience the mental energy crash afterwards either. I’ll explain all about that another day.

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